I still don’t know how I totally feel about Zombieland. I know that it wasn’t a bad movie, as I was laughing quite a bit while watching it. However, there were also moments during the middle where I was checking my watch like I was waiting for a a frozen pizza to cook in the oven. The movie had a lot of promise in the beginning. The introduction of the Columbus character with his rules was done really well, and watching slow-mo deaths were always enjoyable — that woman in the mini-van really should have worn her seatbelt. I’m also a sucker for low-budget horror/action flicks where very talented makeup people get to flex their prosthetic muscles to create some incredibly realistic effects. Between Zombieland and District 9, it’s nice to see some of this old-school style.

What killed the momentum for me was about halfway through, when I’d realized I’d seen this before. I had already seen the campy take on the zombie genre with Shaun of the Dead, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was watching a movie about Left 4 Dead. Four unlikely heroes team up to stave off a zombie-type infection while traveling across the country in search of a “safehouse”. On top of that, they spend the last act in an amusement park! With a clown zombie! And that’s why I’m thinking that Zombieland falls in the “average” realm for me. Originality. I can’t say it wasn’t fun to watch, but I can’t say that I plan to watch it again either.

What To Add It For: Art Direction/Production
A first-time director making a movie with impressive effects and really well-made setpieces on a small budget is to commended. The grocery and trader stores were made just for the movie.

What To Remove It For: Lack of a Scare
For everything that Zombie land was: fun, entertaining, gory and well-designed, it wasn’t scary and you never felt like anyone was in real danger.

Rating: 3/5

Image Source

About the Queue: I watch almost all of my movies through Netflix, either by mail or the Xbox Live Netflix streaming service. I thought I’d share what I thought of these movies, maybe sparking a discussion about older flicks or even get some recommendations from my readers. I write one to two paragraphs about the movie — trying not to spoil anything — sum it up with the high point and low point and give it a final review out of 5, as I would rate the movie on Netflix. And I want to hear what you think about these movies, so please, leave comments.

Pineapple Express

Not since the masterpiece Dumb and Dumber have two best friends with less than stellar intellect and decision-making skills made a funnier pairing. Pineapple Express starts out funny and ends in insanity. When Dale Denton accidentally witnesses a druglord-related murder and his identity is traced back to his drug dealer, Saul, the two men have no choice but to work together to out-run their would-be assassins.

When you start watching this movie, you expect it to be a slapstick comedy with some raunchy humor, but it comes out with guns blazing. Does it have Gary Cole and Seth Rogan having a machine gun fight in an underground weed bunker? Yes it does. Is Danny McBride running over people in a Daewoo? Yes he is. And it all wraps up in time for breakfast at the Waffle House.

What To Add It For: It’s funny, man.
This really is a funny movie. With everything from comedic dialog to over-the-top action scenes that are hilarious in their ridiculousness.

What To Remove It For: Low brow humor.
Comedy is definitely subjective, and while I love a crass-humored stoner comedy done right, it’s not what others may like.

Rating: 4/5

Coraline

Coraline began with a lot of promise. Right away, I was in love with the character designs – something of a mash-up between The Nightmare Before Christmas and the classic Rudolph animated movie. Every character was almost immediately likable except for one, Coraline. I just didn’t really care about the main character. Similar to the main character in the book Where the Wild Things Are (and I’m curiously wondering how the movie will handle it), the main character is really a brat and you almost feel like she gets what she deserves.

Yes, her parents are stereotypically inattentive and borderline neglectful, but she’s a kid, and sometimes kids just need to do what they’re told. I really don’t think kids need more reasons to think they’re the center of the universe. All-in-all, it doesn’t really matter since by the time the story picks up and gets exciting, you are rushed through the rest of the film wondering what the long setup was really all about.

What To Add It For: Spectacular animation.
The character design is incredibly well-done and the stop-motion effect never gets old.

What To Remove It For: Slow moving story.
It takes a while for the story to get going, and even when it does, not enough attention is focused on Coraline’s quest during the third act.

Rating: 2/5

Tropic Thunder

Dismally unfunny is really my best description of Tropic Thunder. For all of the hype of how funny this movie was, it did nothing but disappoint. Ben Stiller is really hit-or-miss for me, and in this one he completely missed, Jack Black is irrelevant, and while Robert Downey Jr. gets the most laughs, his character felt like a Saturday Night Live skit that went on way too long.

The only bright spot in the movie was a famous cameo playing an unexpected role. This movie could have been only about this character and would have been much funnier and interesting. It’s the only thing keeping me from rating it a zero. Maybe they should have let Bill Hader take a run at a bigger role.

What To Add It For: That one guy.
If you haven’t seen it, I don’t want to spoil anything, but I will say that an overweight, balding dance maniac takes the cake in this one.

What To Remove It For: M.I.A. laughs.
While not completely devoid of funny moments, I was waiting for something truly obscenely funny that never came.

Rating: 1/5

Nerdcore Rising

This one is for all the nerds and geeks out there. Being a fan of Nerdcore Hip Hop (geek-inspired lyrics over rap beats) I was drawn to Nerdcore Rising since it is a documentary about the father of Nerdcore, MC Frontalot. The movie follows him and his band on their first national tour, and along the way you not only see that it’s hard out there for a nerd, but how there’s also a lot that is heart-warming about trying so hard to be a lovable outcast.

This movie makes you feel good about being geeky in that “they’re just like me” kind of way. Anyone with the same interests and hobbies with a love for music could see themselves in Frontalot’s place. Not only do you really want to see this band succeed, but it makes you feel good about being the nerd that you are.

What To Add It For: Nerds on tour.
Fans of Nerdcore Hip-Hop and MC Frontalot will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at the life of a nerd on a rock tour.

What To Remove It For: MC in the front (a lot).
I was hoping to see more from other Nerdcore artists, but because Frontalot is probably my favorite, I didn’t mind too much.

Rating: 3/5

Once again, I’m back with another review and another reason to proclaim my love for Pixar. I can honestly say that if Up wasn’t a Pixar creation, I wouldn’t have been excited to see it. Even though the commercials and trailers featured some great comedy moments and showcased the great characters, a movie about a traveling septuagenarian, on its own, just doesn’t sound that appealing to someone who likes comics and books with spaceships on the covers.

I am grateful, however, that Pixar did release this movie because without that motivating force, I would have missed out on a truly fantastic story. It’s hard to accept that a movie with a 78-year-old protagonist moved and entertained me just as much as, if not more than, any other Pixar movie I’ve seen. Including Wall-E. I kid you not.

What It’s About

Carl Fredricksen’s life hasn’t turned out the way he had always dreamed it would. Even though he lived a long, happy life with the his perfect wife, he never had the chance to fulfill their dream of living in the wilds of South America, following in the footsteps of the famous explorer, Charles Muntz. Finally, when Carl is on the verge of losing his home to the city, he decides to tie thousands of balloons to the building and fly to South America. What Carl doesn’t realize is that a young wilderness explorer has managed to tag along, and he is about to get mixed up in a scheme perpetrated by someone very familiar.

What’s Awesome

Old and New Characters: While every character in Up is brand new (except for the delivery truck that makes a cameo in every Pixar movie) most of them feel like classic cartoon characters. Maybe they wrote it this way on purpose, to go along with their geriatric protagonist, but the annoying young kid, the dopey bird and the spastic dog all felt like characters I’ve seen before, while at the same time being brand new.

Gone to the Dogs: Most of the comedy in the movie revolves around the dogs with the translating collars. I don’t want to spoil anything, but yes, I wrote dogs. As in more than one.

Storytelling Seminar: Many script writers could stand to take some lessons from the Pixar folks (and I’m looking at you Transformers 2 writers). Every one of their films feels like a new fairytale. In an era where every kid show is either way too adult-themed or spastic seizure commercials, movies like this are very refreshing.

Laughs and Tears: I’m not ashamed to admit the eyes filled up during this one and there were also copious amounts of laughs to be had. It just goes to show how much you end up caring for these little polygons and wire frames.

What’s Annoying

I Got Nothing: Seriously. It has been known to happen, but there is absolutely nothing I can think of that I didn’t like about this movie.

Conclusion

Pixar films are always at the top of my list when it comes to “must-see” movies. The only film by this studio I have yet to see is Cars, but that’s more Larry The Cable Guy’s fault than anything. Even so, I will see it eventually because of its makers. Pixar puts so much care into their movies and the attention to detail is unmatched. Up rightly resides at the top of the list with the other heavy hitters from the studio.

Justin says: This is a must see, and if you can, the 3-D is very well done.

Official Site

About Movie Reviews: Since I don’t venture out into the theater very often, I don’t see a lot of movies as they are released. The ones that I do manage to watch are ones that I’ve been eagerly anticipating. In no way do I consider myself a true movie critic because I can be quite biased, and my taste is suspect at best. I’m writing these reviews to allow people with similar interests to know if it’s worth their money to check it out. Thanks for reading.

Bolt

If someone told you that Disney was going to make a new animated film without the help of Pixar, wouldn’t you think that it would be a 2D animated feature, possibly about a princess? You might, and you’d be wrong. While Disney and Pixar were separated, but on speaking terms, Disney didn’t want to lose precious time in the theater and thus Bolt was created. While I have nothing against so-called 3D animation, I get somewhat discouraged when John Lasseter and company aren’t involved. There are some surprises (Kung Fu Panda), but mostly the movies are disappointments (Shrek, Antz, etc).

Bolt is about a canine actor that has spent his entire life on a television set. Because of this, he doesn’t know that he’s not really a super-powered dog that continuously saves the world from an evil, cat-loving mastermind. When he manages to get free after a particularly realistic-looking capture of his owner, Penny, not only does he have to find his way back to her, but he has to come to terms with the fact that his entire life hasn’t been what he thought it was. Along for the ride are a stray cat, Mittens, and an energetic hamster named Rhino.

Overall, this movie falls into that middle-of-the-pack realm. It’s not terrible, but there’s not enough high-quality content to bring you back for additional watches.

What To Add It For: The Animation.
For what it’s worth, the character designs and animation are fairly well done. I wouldn’t say it’s Pixar good, but there are some impressive moments.

What To Remove It For: The Voice Acting.
John Travolta and Miley Cyrus, really? I can understand Miley, but what the hell is Travolta doing in this movie? His lines are so labored that I picture him sitting on a couch with a snifter of Brandy, stroking his greasy hair. Or, just reading the script over cell phone.

Rating: 2/5

The Foot Fist Way

Danny McBride has exploded onto the scene recently with a stellar HBO comedy series, Eastbound and Down, and a co-starring role in Will Ferrell’s remake of Land of the Lost. I haven’t seen the latter, but his portrayal of the over-confident foul-mouthed Kenny Powers has made me a McBride fan. It was recommended by friends that I should watch The Foot Fist Way, which stars McBride and partner-in-crime Ben Best — who plays the drug-addicted sidekick Clegg on Eastbound. Every recommendation came with the warning that it wasn’t as good as Eastbound and Down, but still worth watching. And that’s exactly what it was.

The movie follows Fred Simmons, an inept karate instructor who idolizes Chuck “The Truck” Williams — a showboating, Chuck Norris-like action movie star. By teaching kids and adults of all ages the lessons and ethics of karate, he feels like he’s on his way to becoming “The Master of the Demo” and more like his hero. However, when he finally meets him, not only is “The Truck” not what Fred expected, but his life and marriage may suffer as well.

While being a shallow, one-liner type of comedy movie, you can see enough of Kenny Powers in Fred that if you are a fan of Eastbound, you need to give this movie a chance.

What To Add It For: Danny McBride.
You can almost tell that he’s developing his Kenny Powers persona during this movie with his insulting one-liners and awkward social skills.

What To Remove It For: It’s Not Eastbound and Down.
Most people will want to see this movie because it has McBride in it, but it’s not as polished or as well-paced as the television show.

Rating: 3/5

Ratatouille

If you read my blog enough, or just listen to me talk about movies at all, you know that I love Pixar. There are very few story-telling film studios left nowadays and Pixar is the best of the best. Every time I sit down to watch one of their films, they never disappoint me with their story, characters or animation. They have the perfect formula for making you feel something for their characters, whether it be a cowboy doll, ant, robot, fish, monster or in the case of Ratatouille, a rat. Even my least favorite Pixar movie that I’ve seen, Finding Nemo, has very little wrong with it. It’s not really that bad — just not my thing — and the most negative thing I have to say about it is I won’t buy it. Not a bad resume at all.

In Ratatouille, you attach yourself to the main character, Remy, very quickly. Because Remy has a nose for the finer tastes of French cooking, he becomes ostracized from his rat clan, who only care about the sustenance and not taste. When he finds himself in Paris at the doorstep of his cooking idol’s restaurant only to learn that his idol has passed, he befriends the new garbage boy for a chance to become the chef he’s always dreamed of being. Together the boy, Linguini, and Remy learn to overcome obstacles by being true to themselves.

The only thing Pixar has against it is that it has made so many good movies: Toy Story, Wall-E and Up (which I will review soon). This becomes a problem for films like Ratatouille because there are so many expectations. However, Ratatouille has some great characters and the animation is spot-on, so it’s hard not to recommend it to any Pixar fan.

What To Add It For: It’s Pixar.
Do you like Pixar movies? Then you’ll probably like this one. It doesn’t hurt that I’m a fan of cooking either.

What To Remove It For: Being Straightforward.
Most of the Pixar movies’ endings are predictable, but how they get to the end comes with many twists. Ratatouille goes a little light on the twists, but not enough to affect the quality of the story.

Rating: 4/5

About The Queue: Since I watch almost all of my movies through Netflix, either by mail or the Xbox Live Netflix streaming service, a lot of the movies I see are neither new nor currently in theaters. However, this doesn’t mean that they are not worth watching, or worth knowing that they need to be avoided. Since I watch these movies, and would most likely write about them on my blog anyway, I review them in what I call The Queue.

I have an undying love for all things Transformers. As I’m writing this, hundreds of figures adorn shelves in my office, Generation 1 DVD sets sit on my bookshelf, the animated movie poster hangs over my desk, and Optimus Prime and Megtron leer at me from the sides of my monitor. I love these things. I can’t say exactly what it is that makes Transformers so significant to me. I know that besides my Care Bear (Cheer Bear specifically), Transformers are the first toy I can remember being excited to play with. Like all children growing up in the 80s, I had Dukes of Hazzard toys, Ninja Turtle figures and LEGOs, but was something about these shape-shifting aliens that I enjoyed more than any other toys. I even made my own Transformers out of LEGOs!

Growing up, I was fascinated by machinery and form. As a young boy, like most boys, I really liked trucks and construction. Monster trucks, bulldozers and heavy farm equipment fascinated me, and I always loved cartoons and characters. When the two met, and I saw a tractor-trailer semi transform into a robot, that was it. Ever since, I’ve been collecting Transformers toys — I have ones that I received as gifts when I was four — and I still look forward to the new figures coming out now. I’m sure a therapist could explain the true, and possibly disturbed, reasons I hold onto and collect these toys, but for me, it reminds me that no matter how old I get, I never have to really grow up.

Okay, enough about me. I just wanted to warn you the the so-called “review” below might not be totally subjective.

After really liking the first movie (twist!) and hearing that more robots, more action, and more Transformers history were promised in the sequel, I couldn’t wait to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. I was so excited that I pre-ordered tickets for the 12:01am showing the day of release. I ventured to the theater with my friend Nick and we were met with not only a line for our showing, but the three subsequent showings that were happening before 1am. I think it’s safe to say that this movie should do well in the box office department.

What It’s About

Two years after Megatron was defeated and dumped into the ocean, the Autobots have assimilated themselves into the US Army, creating a new branch called NEST. The Autobots, along with NEST, are tracking down remaining Decepticons to help make the planet safe once again. What they don’t realize is that Starscream has mobilized a new group of Decepticon warriors to search for the remaining shards of the destroyed Allspark. Using these shards, they can reactivate Megatron and continue the mission given to them by the original Decepticon, The Fallen. A mission that doesn’t call for enslavement of the human race, but for the destruction of the planet Earth itself.

What’s Awesome

Killer Robot Battles: The battles in ROTF are frequent and violent. As a Transformers fan, it’s not often that you get to see the brutality of their war. A lot of the comics and cartoons focus on the planning and the politics. ROTF does not. It skips all of the subtlety for outright mayhem. If these were humans, instead of organic robots, there’s no way this film could receive a PG-13 rating. These robots impale, amputate, curb-stop, dismember and out-right rip the faces off of each other. It’s quite a sight.

More Than Cannon Fodder: One of the things truly lacking in the first Transformers movie were the Decepticons. Yes, they were there, but really as nothing more than something for the Autobots to shoot at. In ROTF, you get to see the Decepticons scheme, coordinate, interact and even bicker amongst themselves. There are many colorful Decepticon characters, and it was nice to see some of them get screen time.

Cartoon In Disguise: A lot of people, and I mean a lot are going to hate The Twins. They are over-the-top caricatures of racial stereotypes, and are crude, worthless and annoying. But I like them. There’s something about them — along with the British Jetfire and the New Jersey-sounding Wheelie — that remind me of characters from the sadly defunct Transformers: Animated. The movie itself feels more like a cartoon than a film, too. With its transparent plot, goofy characters, and physical and technological happenings outside the realm of reality, the whole movie feels like one long Transformers cartoon.

One Shall Stand: Optimus Prime was kind of a wuss in Transformers 1. His only real fight was against Bonecrusher, and then he spent the rest of the movie getting tossed around by Megatron until Sam saved the day. Yuck. Luckily, in ROTF, Prime is a bad-ass mother-trucker. Now wielding dual Energon blades, Prime rips through the lower ranks of Decepticons like the fierce warrior he’s supposed to be.

What’s Annoying

Kill All The Humans: I don’t want to see Shia and Megan in any movie, let alone a movie that I’m this excited for. What do you get the kid who ruined Indiana Jones and celebrates drunk-driving? How about a lead role in a $500M+ grossing movie? It makes me sick. He can’t act his way out of a paper bag. And speaking of paper bags, Megan Fox doesn’t even know bags exist. I forget who said it, but some blogger said that the Trix Rabbit has better acting chops. It’s like she’s getting her lines fed to her through an earpiece. Then you have the Army, who gets too much screen time, and a new kid who is the Jar-Jar Binks of Transformers. Stick to the bots from now on. I mean, Sideswipe and Jolt didn’t even get to speak!

Who’s Story Is It?: Continuing from the above point, I thought this movie was about Transformers? I don’t care about two teenagers and their bickering about saying the L-Word. I don’t need to know that Shia’s roommate is a conspiracy-theory pervert. And I really don’t care what formation military jets fly in, how they react to being attacked, or how they coordinate their battles. Critics are complaining about the movie being too long and talk about how Bay should have cut some of the Transformers history to make it shorter. But that’s what we want. Cut down on the kitchen bots, humping dogs, military advertising shots and goofy sidekicks, and you could have this movie come in under two hours.

Still Too Fast: Another complaint I had with the first movie was that the action was too fast and choppy to really tell what’s going on. And while they fixed it some by slowing down the fights to show you the heavy hits, it’s still hard to tell what’s happening a lot of the time. There aren’t a lot of wide shots to show off the Transformers designs and movements and I think I could count the transformation sequences shown on one hand. Once again, removing a lot of the human elements would have allowed for more time to show the Transformers as characters. Maybe they could have even allowed the new Autobots to introduce themselves.

Conclusion

I have a lot to say about this movie because it’s Transformers (as if you couldn’t tell from the previous 1200 words). The subject means a lot to me in the same way that Trekkers, LOTR fans, Harry Potter lovers and other fanboys/fangirls involve themselves in their relative stories. Trying to see the movie as a non-Transformer fan isn’t going to happen, so I’m not going to even try. Were there things I didn’t like about the movie? Yes. Were they nit-picky “those aren’t my Transformers” kinds of crap? No. Speaking as a fan, I would say that if you love action, robots, Transformers, comics and cartoons, give it a shot. And if you enjoyed the first one, you’ll love this one.

Justin says: What do you think? Go see it. Now.

Official Site

About Movie Reviews: Since I don’t venture out into the theater very often, I don’t see a lot of movies as they are released. The ones that I do manage to watch are ones that I’ve been eagerly anticipating. In no way do I consider myself a true movie critic because I can be quite biased, and my taste is suspect at best. I’m writing these reviews to allow people with similar interests to know if it’s worth their money to check it out.

Thanks for reading.

I’m always very skeptical of Oscar-Winning films, especially Best Picture Winners. It’s one of those categories that just never gels with my taste in movies. Besides Lord of the Rings: Return of the King and a couple others, Best Picture films are usually, in my opinion, boring duds that are full of pretentious drivel Hollywood likes to spew out a few times a year to pretend that it makes art movies instead of the next vehicle for Comedian of the Moment. I hate to say it, but Slumdog Millionaire is one of those over-hyped duds. I don’t think it’s a bad movie, and it wasn’t too boring, but I can say that I had a very hard time seeing what was so great about it.

Slumdog is about a lower-class Indian teenager that finds himself competing for the top prize on “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”. When he is accused of cheating, flashbacks tell the origins behind his obscure knowledge, as well as some of the horrors of his growing pains. My problems with this movie don’t extend to the actors — they did a wonderful job portraying the characters. You feel for the protagonist, root for the good guy and despise the evil characters. What I found lacking was imagination. While the location backdrops and characters were pretty spectacular, the story was too predictable and the dialog was straightforward. Overall, I think the movie is worth a watch, since it was an Oscar winner, and my taste in movies can be a little obscure.

What To Add It For: The Atmosphere.
From the urban sprawl of downtown Mumbai to the sheltered slums of the city’s underbelly, the scenery breathes on its own.

What To Remove It For: Been There Done That.
Enjoyable characters and locations don’t make up for the same old story with the same old predictable ending.

Rating: 2/5

Since I was absolutely enthralled with Dead Space on Xbox, I thought I would dive into some of the back-story and watch the animated DVD prequel Dead Space: Downfall. I’m a huge fan of animation, whether it be Anime or Western-developed, and I was intrigued by the story in the game — even though it was a little been-there-done-that. The animation was particularly graphic: severed limbs, heads, people being cut in half, people being eaten, jaws being ripped off, and there was blood everywhere. Even though you could tell that the movie was made to cash in on the target audiences’ blood-lust more than it was made to entertain the story, it was an enjoyable film overall.

Downfall explains everything that happens before Isaac and his crew mates land on the Ishimura, to a point. The true origin of the alien infestation isn’t wholly revealed, but I think that’s more for the sake of believability than an oversight. It makes the story scarier and more believable to not know exactly where these monsters came from. There are some things revealed in the film that could be considered surprises in the game, however, so I would say that if you plan to play the game, do not watch the movie first. Overall, I would recommend this movie to anyone who enjoyed the Dead Space game or is a fan of animation. Or blood. Definitely watch it if you like blood.

What To Add It For: It’s Dead Space.
If you liked the story of Dead Space (like me), it’s worth checking out this freebie on Netflix to see how the whole thing started.

What To Remove It For: End To A Beginning
In the same way that Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring (LOTRTFOTR) left you with a little to be desired, so does Downfall. Dead Space is the main course, this is the appetizer.

Rating: 3/5

Role Models fits right in between “Funnier Than I Thought The Trailer Made It Look” and “Less Funny Than Everyone I Know Made It Out To Be”. I have really enjoyed Paul Rudd’s last few years of work. He was amazing in Anchorman, and I couldn’t help but love his complete breakdown in Knocked Up. He’s the reason I wanted to see this movie at all, and I have to say that he lived up to what I was expecting. He was funny, smug, and strangely easy to relate to. Sean Williams Scott basically played the character he’s always played, but I don’t mind thinking that maybe he’s just the dude that went to Ithaca University in Road Trip, and somehow this is how his life has ended up.

What made this movie a blast to watch was the LARPing (Live-Action Role Playing). I’ll admit it. Between the ridiculousness of McLovin battling with a foam sword, and the KISS-obsessed ending, it was definitely worth staying awake the whole movie. The real downfall of the film was that it was slow. Things took a while to evolve, and it seemed like every scene lasted a minute or so longer than it needed to. And while the dialog kept me laughing a good portion of the time, the ending fell a little flat in the creativity department. If you like R-rated comedies — that are light on the raunchiness — it’s worth a watch.

What To Add It For: The Dialog.
I love movies that do a good job of making you feel like these are actual conversations between real people and not pre-written scenes by a writer with a PhD in wit (The O.C., Dawsons Creek, et al). (See: Shaun of the Dead, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Cabin Fever for examples of how to write dialog.)

What To Remove It For: Middle Of The Road Comedy.
You won’t waste your time watching this movie, but if for some insane reason you have thousands of movies in your queue, you wouldn’t miss this one.

Rating: 3/5

Sometimes a terrible movie can be really fun to watch — Street Fighter, the Bill & Ted’s Movies, Ice Pirates (which I need to do a “Queue” about). And sometimes, you get Star Wars: Clone Wars. Clone Wars isn’t as obnoxious as Dragon Wars, but it isn’t fun like Street Fighter either. It’s a middle-of-the-road bad movie where you get bored watching it, but it’s not stupid enough to watch again later with a group to heckle it. Nothing happens in the movie that sticks with you, in a good or bad way. Somehow they’ve managed to incorporate every bad thing that George Lucas did with the “Prequels” and go even further by making Clone Wars just flat-out boring.

Clone Wars is exactly what you would expect from a “new” Star Wars movie: pointless story, drivel for dialog, too many battles, annoying sidekick character (Ahsoka), out of place discussions on politics/war, an awesome bad guy that doesn’t deliver (Ventress), etc. First of all, you can tell that the movie was just an hour-and-a-half-long first episode of the television show that’s now playing. Secondly, did I mention that it’s boring?

The plot follows Anakin Skywalker and his new Padawan, Ahsoka Tano, as they try to keep the peace with the Hutt clan that has found Jabba’s son kidnapped. The Jedi want to form an alliance with the Hutts so they can use their shipping lanes during the war with the Separatists. Meanwhile, Anakin and Ahsoka end up having to cart the sick Hutt-ling across the galaxy to stop the Hutts from turning on the Jedi. If you can stand the prequels and really like Star Wars, this one may be okay, but if you’re an old-school Star Wars fan, this is not the film you’re looking for.

What To Add It For: The Character Designs.
I like most of the Clone Wars style character designs (though the cartoon versions look better).

What To Remove It For: The Animation.
Pixar this isn’t. Hell, it’s not even Dreamworks. I’ve seen better animation in Resident Evil video games.

Rating: 2/5

Kung Fu Panda is a CG-Animated movie by Dreamworks that tells the story of a lazy Panda named Po, a huge fan of Kung Fu, and what happens when he is chosen to become his home’s unlikely savior. Even though he spends his days working in his father’s noodle shop, he dreams about being the next great Kung Fu master like his heroes, the Furious Five. When the wise Master Oogway appoints Po the Dragon Warrior, it is up to Master Shifu to teach Po the ways of Kung Fu so that he can face an escaped villain named Tai Lung and defend the Valley of Peace.

I can say that I truly enjoyed this film in almost every way. It was funnier than I was expecting, and the animation is spectacular. The character designs are some of the best I’ve ever seen in CG Animation, and the action scenes are very well thought out. Instead of small parts of action spaced in the narrative, there a more than a few sweeping action pieces that don’t appear very often in Western animation. The best comparison that I can give is that it likens itself to Toy Story where there is quite a bit of heart and humor, but it doesn’t sacrifice the pacing and feel of the movie itself. If you’re a fan of animation, this is a must see.

High Point: The bridge fight between Tai Lung and the Furious Five. I’m still trying to imagine the amount of animation work and study that went into those ten minutes.

Low Point: Knowing the entire time that Tigress was Angelina Jolie.

Rating: 4/5